How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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