I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
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