My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Just puked most of my soul out..
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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