i already hear my dad disowning me
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
