The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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