We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
