wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Randomize
