You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
