I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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