There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
