Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I just found a bag of teeth...
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
