sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
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