she woke up with a sticky ear
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
