This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
