Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
