dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
They took my balls.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
