I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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