chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
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