dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize