the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Randomize
