of course. lets lasso hookers.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
