In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
