Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
