playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Randomize
