i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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