don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
