so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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