she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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