when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
