your room smells of hookers.
And success
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
