The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
