Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
You can't motorboat a personality
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
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