Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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