batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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