Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
