Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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