And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
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