i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
We're too hungover to prance.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
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