this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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