Whod you bang
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I think people are normalizing furries
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
