Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
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