it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
