I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Randomize
