How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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