He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
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