I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
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