I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
You ate ashes out of my bong
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
