it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize