Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize