btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Randomize
