its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Randomize
