Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
