Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
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