My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
