You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
