The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
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