hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
