We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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