I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Randomize