therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Randomize
