do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Randomize
