He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
